Nick

How do you feel about being adopted?

Being adopted means very little to me, it’s the 25 years of my life that’s important along with the care, love and support that I’ve received from two people that love me and the love I’ve shared with them.

What were your first memories of your adoptive family?

As I was adopted from birth I don’t have any memory of being adopted at that time, but I do have some wonderful memories of a life growing up in South Wales. I have no significant first memory of my adoptive family, though interestingly, I can still remember being held by my cousin on my first birthday above a birthday cake in the shape of a number 1; surrounded by my family.

What has your relationship with your parents been like?

I have been extremely lucky and privileged to grow up knowing loving parents. My parents have always been my parents, and will always be my parents. Personally, I have never considered my parents to be my ‘adoptive parents’, nor have I ever referred to my biological parents as my ‘real’ parents.

How did find out you were adopted?

I grew up knowing that I was adopted, and vaguely remember my parents using phrases like “when we had you”, or occasionally, “when you were given to us” to explain my adoption. These were always followed with positive emotions of how happy they felt, which always reaffirmed their love for me. As I grew older I was able to understand more and more about what being adopted meant, and naturally, I began to ask questions. My parents were always open with me, and told me as much as they knew about the adoption process, and the specific circumstances surrounding my adoption. It has always been an open topic in my extended family, which was a conscious decision by my parents to de-stigmatise adoption. Being adopted just became part of who I am as a person, but has never defined who I am.

Have you ever felt different because you were adopted?

Throughout my life, I have always been open about my adoption with friends, and well, pretty much anyone. I have always been interested with the responses I’ve got from people who ask things like “how do you feel about that?”, or “are you sure you don’t mind talking about it?”, and some even asking “do you know your ‘real’ parents?”. The most interesting response I’ve encountered has always, and commonly, been “oh sorry”. To these, I’ve always tried to explain that the two people who have raised me are my real parents, and that nobody should feel ‘sorry’ that I’m adopted as I feel lucky to have been given such a wonderful life with two amazing parents.

Have you ever wanted to find your biological parents?

In the past two years, I have traced some biological family members. In doing this, I have tried to be as open as possibly with my parents, who have understood that by nature I’m a curious person. They’ve always known that I was going to trace one day, and we’ve often talked about it. Yes, they were bound to feel emotional, worried, protective, and so on, but they also know that I love them and nobody would, or could, ever replace them.

Do you think adoption makes any difference to your life?

I have a strong, loving and very supportive relationship with my parents, and I count myself lucky every day that I was adopted. I wouldn’t change my life for anything.
"The term adoption is insignificant to me, it’s the life I’ve been given by my parents that matters. Mum and Dad, I love you."